I´m 40. Just bought a puppy. Feeling the pressure of reaching an age where things change and stagnate at the same time. Maybe there is more past than future in the life that I have left. Giving birth and having a baby is gone for good. Such “never agains” made me think…
by Trine Lind Laursen, psychologist and owner at Lind & Karmark
I totally get it. I get why it’s hard. Hard to “accept” that things are over. I get the fight for obtaining identity, positions and titles. And in some way I also admire it.
Mums and dads that have children at a mature age. Doctors and lawyers that hang on and take their last breath with a stethoscope around their own neck or a briefcase under their arm. Or the politician that fights for power and position across their mature decades.
Next to my understanding and admiration is a question I want to put out there.
Danger or a catch
Is there a danger or a catch connected to the human need for obtaining, persevering and not letting go? I tend to think so.
Look around at the worldwide powerhouse of politics. A house inhabited primarily of aging men whose biggest personal strength has been resilience and “keeping on”.
It’s hard to let go of power when you’ve spent all your life fighting for it and retaining it.
But when a personal fight interferes with the systemic common good – we have a problem. Maybe that’s happening today and maybe that’s the first real challenge we must confront before systemic change can really happen.
The world changes
We live in a world where big changes must take place in order for the world to even exist. And how have we approached that change?
Young people have tried so shout out to the mature people in power without it having the greatest of effect. Political deals have been talked about and negotiated without big real practical outcomes. Is this really the way?
Instead of continuously banging our heads up against the same door, maybe we should open a new one. Maybe we should start talking about the art of stepping down. A hard psychological and existential art form but maybe a social necessity?
Time to let go
I am not up for fighting. Just talking and reflecting. Is it time to let go? And I ask you. Is it time to step over your point of never again?
Ask yourself if you are struggling to preserve a personal interest or the good of the system and the world?
I know it’s hard but I totally admire if you dare to delve into this important question.
While you do – I’ll take my puppy for a walk. We call him BOOMER.